I have carried our beautiful little boy for about 18 months now. The first 9 months he was underneath my heart, safely tucked away in my uterus, and the last 9 months he was in my arms, snuggled against my chest. It has been my favourite adventure in life thus far, but definitely also the most challenging. I used to thrive on stressful situations like exams and emergency situations in my job, coping through sleepless nights without needing any supplements (other than jelly-beans and pasta). I felt almost invincible… but then I became responsible for another tiny human being 24/7 and I became fragile and unsure about myself. I realised that I am just as dependant on God as this baby is on me, because I cannot do it in my own strength. When I look back on the last 9 months, I am thankful to see how much I have grown as a child of God, as a wife, and as a mother. I would like to document and share some of the things I have learned in this process: to remind myself in difficult times to come, and maybe to motivate or help you too.
- It is just a phase
When baby is having a difficult day, crying and clingy, has cramps or he wakes up every hour of the night, or he refuses to eat his food remember… it is just a phase! This too shall pass. Every baby goes through many developmental and physical growth spurts that upset them, but that is just the thing, they go THROUGH them. So next time you are in the middle of a tantrum / sleepless night just remind yourself that it will get better!
- Treasure each moment
That first gurgling sounds, the first smile, the cuddles, the smell of his newborn skin, the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, the first time he rolls over / sits / crawls… there are too many to name! So take a moment and cherish that moment. Be present, put down your phone and just take a mental snapshot of his face, his laugh, the feel of his hand on your face. Record as much as you can, because when you look back it all becomes a blur. I am thankful that I took weekly photos for the first 12 weeks, and thereafter monthly photos . Babies change and learn so much in the beginning, I am glad I had a plan to record it all.
- It takes a village
Surround yourself with other moms! I always felt better after a visit with the moms who have babies of around the same age as mine. We talked about dirty nappies, feeding-times and naps without boring or irritating each other. We learned from each other and the “me-too” conversations answered many of my questions.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Eccl 4:9-10
- Teamwork
My husband has carried me through the last 18 months! He is my hero! He cooked for us, did night shifts for baby and for work, encouraged and spoiled me, read up on important issues and remained the voice of reason when my emotions were out of hand. He loves our son soooo much, and that makes me love him so much more! It is such a privilege to share the good and the bad of this journey with him. I understand why God said it is not good for man to be alone!
- It is a marathon
Unlike cramming for an exam, motherhood is not something that is “over” once your baby is born / is 6 weeks old / a year old… so pace yourself! Make sure there is someone to look after you while you look after your little one. Decide what is really important for you and your family and focus on that. It is so easy to get carried away by all the ideas on Pinterest or to try and look Instagram-worthy all the time!
“So get your breath back. Parenting is about decades, not days.” Kevin Leman, First-time Mom.
- Information overload!
The world wide web is a dangerous place at 2am! Choose a few good sources (parenting guides, blogs, websites or family members), and stick with them. You will find a lot of contradicting facts and support for almost any approach to parenting, and this will only confuse your already tired mind! I love the Pregnancy Sense, Baby Sense and Weaning Sense books as they are written by professionals with a lot of experience, always explains their facts in a scientific way and have easy-to-follow plans. Even if I do not follow their schedules 100%, it helped me to have a practical guideline to fall back on.
- I am not in control
I can try my best to keep to all the rules and awake times / meal times / make the right food / buy the best baby-gear but in the end our little baby will grow and develop at his own rate. Teeth will come on- or off-schedule and poo will surprise you time and again! When I realised I could let go and let God, a huge burden dropped from my shoulders. Yes, I will do my utmost to be the best mom I can be, but I have to surrender our son and his future into God’s hands where the things that I have no control over will be safe.
I am so grateful for every lesson I have learned as a mother! (These are only the tip of the iceberg; it was a steep learning curve even for me who was supposed to know everything about children. Unfortunately we are taught very little about healthy babies when training to become a pediatrician). Reading up, experiencing things first hand and talking to other mothers have enabled me to improve as a mother and as a pediatrician! I have so much more empathy and answers for the mothers I see in my practise.
My prayer is that I will continue to grow closer to God as I continue to learn and grow as a mother, and that I will be able to raise this little boy to become a man who loves and chooses to walk with Him. I look forward to the next 18 years of learning and loving and laughing!
*** This is not a sponsored post. See the links below to the books I spoke about above:
** Pictures taken by my husband!
Before you start weighing daily or weekly for the rest of your baby’s life… remember that growth over time is more important than one good or bad weight. That is why we use growth charts to keep track of your baby’s weight gain over time. We want your baby to follow the shape of the curve (whether he is above or below the “middle” line). This allows your individual baby (who might have very tall or petite parents) to grow within a healthy margin. We as health care practitioners start to worry when your child drops from the line where he used to grow to a lower curve (percentile), or if the weight stands still, causing a flat line on your curve. Once again this should be seen in context. Your little one might have had a bout of gastro just before the weight was taken, or he might have a chronic disease or syndrome where we expect him to grow slower.